Spider-Man doesn’t actually make any money by being Spider-Man. Spider-Man pays his rent as a freelance photographer. Most of the photos he sells are pictures he takes of himself. Ergo Spider-Man is the God of selfies. Spider-Man is living the selfie dream.
disclaimer: i want attention. i want sympathy. i want company. i want to impress people and i want people to like me. i don’t really understand why i’m supposed to pretend i don’t want those things, so i won’t.
“I wrote a poem about it, and then threw it away, because that’s the last thing I need right now: More words dedicated to people who will never dedicate a single thing to me.”—Thought Catalog (via wanduring)
So, yeah. I know you’re tired of hearing about rape culture. But I’m tired of my friends getting raped.
I know you’re tired of hearing about abortion. I am too. So stop trying to tell me what to do with my uterus, and I promise you won’t hear another word from me about it.
I know men and women are different from each other. I’m just tired of that fact being used to excuse the inexcusable.
I know you’re tired of hearing about income inequality. But fuck you, pay us.
This is how it works. We get mad, we fight, we get tired, we get mad, we start again. Rinse, repeat. Feminism isn’t without its flaws, and it doesn’t seem able to speak with one voice or crystallize answers on the darker, stickier aspects of human nature and sexuality. But if I may get Rumsfeldian for a minute, this is the army we have. The fight comes to us whether we seek it or not, whether we want it or not, and whether we are ready or not.
I don’t know if rape jokes encourage rape culture. I don’t care. You still shouldn’t tell them.
Statistically, if you have told a rape joke to a group of more than five people, one of the people you told it to was a rape survivor, possibly of multiple rapes. They will not necessarily disclose this to you; rape apologism is endemic in society and most rape survivors are cautious about whom they tell. Some may even be too ashamed of their rape to admit it to anyone, or because of rape-minimizing narratives like “men can’t be raped” and “I consented to oral, so I couldn’t have been raped” may not admit it even to themselves. The fact remains: if you’ve told dozens of rape jokes in your life, then you have almost certainly told a joke that minimizes or trivializes rape in front of a survivor.
And if you put as your Facebook status “I totally raped at Halo today” for your two hundred Facebook friends to see, statistically, you have just reminded thirty-three people of one of the worst experiences of their entire lives.
“Fucked-up people will try to tell you otherwise, but boundaries have nothing to do with whether you love someone or not. They are not judgments, punishments, or betrayals. They are a purely peaceable thing: the basic principles you identify for yourself that define the behaviors that you will tolerate from others, as well as the responses you will have to those behaviors. Boundaries teach people how to treat you, and they teach you how to respect yourself.”—Cheryl Strayed (via bigfatfeminist)
The result of men objectifying women is stacking more weight on an already imbalanced scale. It’s contributing, sometimes directly, sometimes indirectly, toward that legacy I’m talking about. A legacy of unequal pay, a legacy of cultural separation, a legacy of rape culture and other forms of victimization. It adds to that legacy while robbing something from a whole group of people.
The result of women objectifying men is — what? Again, not asking about right or wrong but — what happens? I’m still Mister Lucky over here. You objectify me and I still won the [heteronormative white dude] lottery. I’m still likelier to get paid more, to get the jobs, to get the kudos, to get to be a hero Daddy, to get to be the rule-setter. I’m still going to have a better shot at being a CEO. Or a politician. Or, or, or.
I point all this out not as a finger-waggling tongue-clucking judge and jury against the HWD. I point this all out as an HWD who has in the past wondered some of this stuff and had go ahead and open his eyes and see that, yes, there’s more going on here than maybe I imagined. It’s hard to see the forest because of all these white dude trees, you know? We like to think it’s keen to aspire to a color-blind world but the result of that is usually that white people are just blind to people of color. Whedon wants us to put the word “feminism” away, but all that would really result in is putting away feminists and, by proxy, those who are female.
So, when it comes to things like men’s rights or presumed double-standards or why we can’t join in on the cultural appropriation of bigoted words — maybe we need to think about the consequence of all this instead of whether something seems right or seems wrong.
More to the point –
Maybe we just need to suck it up and be allies for others instead of allies for ourselves.
1:Write your URL in some writing that you thought were super cool when you were younger. Eg, bubble letters, digital clock letters, letters with lots of embellishments, or letters with smiley faces in them.
2:Write a list of all the countries or states you’ve been to. Write a comment on each of them. Or some, if you can’t be bothered.
3:List your top three statistical Tumblr crushes and draw their icons.
4:Draw a selfie.
5:Name three things you like about yourself.
6:Do you like the climate you live in? What do you like about it or what would you change?
7:What is your current mood? Write and/or draw.
8:Can you tie a bow-tie? A regular tie? If yes, how and when did you learn?
9:Pick something from your immediate surroundings and tell the story behind the item.
10:The last time you noticed you’d put a piece of clothing on incorrectly, i.e. backwards/inside out/etc?
11:What is a typical breakfast for you?
12:How do you take your favorite coffee? Eg strong or weak? Black or with cream/milk and/or sugar/sweetener? Filter, espresso, French press or instant? Hot or iced? Regular or decaf? None of the above?
13:Describe your favorite food. Who makes it?
14:List 5 movies that you love.
15:What is a wanky memory from Tumblr that still makes you blush?
16:What brought you to Tumblr?
17:Have you had any real Tumblr crushes? If you want to keep your mystery, answer with a drawing.
18:Do you prefer to text or call your friends?
19:Write an autograph version of your URL.
20:Pick up the nearest printed material in your first language and copy out a random paragraph.
girl fact #285: makeup gives us super human strength. if you see a girl with perfect winged eyeliner and red lipstick, approach with caution. she’s got the power to slay her enemies with one look and use their blood as blush.